The Diary of Destiny
by Eat Me - I'm Yummy
Summary: Follow the journey of a young girl, on the road to destiny, through loss, pain, horror and much more. A simple story that I hope you enjoy.


**Authors Note:** This is a simple one-shot from the Buffyverse, though the character POV is not at all familiar or known. Just something that came to me recently. Hope you enjoy xD

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**The Diary of Destiny**

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**March 5th, 2003**

Deep breaths.

Inhale. Exhale.

I felt the cold tears wet my cheeks, as I clenched my fists tighter into the carpet under me. I couldn't afford to make a single sound, but physically cringed when a strangled sob escaped my parted lips.

The house was utterly silent, mocking me. Begging me to leave my sanctuary, where the shadows would be waiting to take me. I was not going to fall for it. Not this time.

My shaking feet caused my bare toes to tremble against the floor and I bit back the urge to scream out my frustration. I attempted to lock my muscles in place, to keep still, but my body wasn't listening to my brain. Dammit.

Suddenly the house was no longer silent and I mentally sighed in relief. I knew I was right to not move nor make a sound. But what would my reward be? To be found?

I heard the heavy footsteps up the stairs in the hall, the creak of the floorboards under thick boots and instinctively squeezed myself further into the wall. I perked my ears, hearing the intruder opening doors, one by one in the long hallway. Soon I heard his feet stop right in front of my door.

I stopped breathing instantly, successfully locked down my erratic muscles and went completely still. The wood of the door was pushed open and I saw a pair of male feet step into view.

I tried to push away the illogic thought that entered my hay wired mind, when I lay eyes on his black and worn sneakers. Such a simple shoe, belonging to such a cruel individual. I wanted to laugh hysterically and realized glumly that I had finally lost it. I still wasn't giving up, though.

I pressed my lips tightly together, as the feet came closer to my hideaway. It didn't feel much like a sanctuary anymore, not if the intruder was about to discover it. I did not know what would happen to me, but from the horrid sounds emanating from below a few minutes ago, I knew it wouldn't be pleasant.

As much as I wanted to just let go, I knew my mother was expecting me to be the strong girl she had raised. As much as I wanted to let the intruder find me, so I could join my family, I couldn't disappoint my mother. I had to fight back, even if it killed me.

Suddenly I felt the madras bend, as the bed spirals pressed into my back. I realized I had zoned out and saw that the intruder had sat down on my frilly, pink bedspread. He was so close; I could almost feel his breaths on my neck.

I heard a tutting sound and saw four fingertips, as he laid one hand on the edge of the madras. As he opened his mouth to speak, I had not expected the thick Southern accent or the complete lack of anger in his tone. But I wasn't blind to the malice.

'Y'know… It's not nice to ignore company. Here I am, interrupting my own day, to pay you a visit and you decide to play hide and seek. Very disrespectful little lady.'

I sucked in a deep breath at the new realization. He knew exactly where I was and something told me that he had known all along. That the sounds of him looking into the other rooms was just a ruse, meant to induce a fake sense of safety in me. A few tears slipped out once more when I also realized that the horrific murders of my family had also been unnecessary. He was only doing it to purposely harm my spirit.

My shakes returned threefold with these awakenings and I no longer tried to hide it. What was the point when he knew everything already? No reason to hide, no reason to keep silent. All I could do now was wait for my coming execution.

I felt, heard and saw him rise from my bed, though everything felt like slow-motion. And then as soon as the scene sped up again, it started.

He ripped the madras off its place and suddenly I was staring straight into the devil's blue eyes. His pale face was a deep contrast to his dark brown hair and black outfit. That was when I saw the strip of white on his neck. How could a holy man do something this atrocious?

He seemed to notice the widening of my eyes and where they were pointed at, as he reached up two fingers to pat the collar and offered me a cruel smirk. The violent shaking returned full force, as I waited for the Preacher's next move.

He reached one, long arm under the bed, grabbed a fistful of my pale hair and pulled roughly. I screamed out my intense agony, as I felt several strands of hair give away to his superior strength. He rose my body to stand in sync with his, though my feet were not on the ground and I quickly realized that a man his size should not have this kind of muscle. He was not human.

The thought alone, coupled with intense scalp pain, made me give out another feral cry, as tears shamelessly poured out of my grey eyes. I had been content in the thought of joining my family, but had not known it would be this cruel and agonizing. I was praying for the end to come soon.

My feverish hollering only seemed to widen his grin and I felt a bile rise in my throat, wondering what asylum he escaped from. How could anyone possible take pleasure in this type of torture, let alone a man of the cloth?

Up until this moment I had felt a thankful amount of paralysis in my body, but now I could feel it all returning. It felt like a thousand needles in both legs, as I frantically began to flail them back and forth, to end the torturous feeling. But other than bringing me further agony, it also helped me to realize something quite important.

As one of my awakened legs unintentionally hit the Preacher, he backed away at the impact, though never loosening his tight grip on my hair. It was small, yet big. Somehow, I had discovered suddenly, I could hurt him.

I tried to push back the cruel smile wanting to spread on my face. I was not like him. I stopped struggling against his binds on me, one hand fisted in my blond locks and the other tightly gripping my left forearm. I went completely slack, as far as he was concerned. In reality I was pushing all of my strength into my legs, preparing my muscles for the coming impact. And then I put my plan into motion.

With everything in me, I gritted my teeth and put all my weight into my kick. I heard the oomph from his lips, saw the air leave his lungs and watched as he completely removed his hands from me. I didn't stick around to gloat, as I twisted on my socked feet and ran out of the room, not looking back once. This was my only chance for survival.

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**March 7th, 2003**

I walked the dark streets of the city, tightly wrapped in my pale arms, while the wind stung in my red eyes. I had long ago run out of tears. My body was completely dry, my lips chapped and my shoe-less feet bloody and ripped beneath the thin socks. I was a wreck.

Ever since my escape two days ago, I had not stopped running. I had no idea where I was going, but I felt like I was being pulled in a certain direction. As if some powerful magnet was reeling me in, to a place where I could be safe. In the end, that was all I was sure of. I was headed to a new and stronger sanctuary. I just didn't know when I would get there.

I crossed the dark road, only illuminated by the tall lampposts. The wind blew my hair around my face, soothing my still aching scalp. My stomach twisted and turned from the lack of nutrition and my throat burned without proper liquid. But I didn't have any money, so I pushed on.

I raised my head out of instinct, as my feet silently brought me to a small playground, in the middle of the quiet neighborhood I had stumbled into. My eyes lit up for just a second, as memories of my own childhood flashed in my inner vision. With bile in my throat, I swallowed them back down and made my way to the swings.

I roped my arms around the chains and swung my feet back and forth, though the swing itself was not moving. I wasn't sure if my empty stomach was up for that at the moment.

My eyes peered out through my blond bangs, examining my surroundings.

There was a small slide in the far corner, a sandbank in the middle and a few tipping animals on the other side. In between those was simply the soft grass, to cushion the children that fell in their hurry to reach a target.

One lone tear squeezed itself out of my dry eyes, at the thought of all that I had lost so fast. I was supposedly in the prime of my youth, the tender age of 16 and yet I could no longer enjoy my life. It had all been ripped from out under me, like a magician with a good handle on a tablecloth. Except the glasses and plates crashed to the floor, shattering into a million pieces.

I didn't bother to wipe the liquid of my cheek, as I stared out into the blackness of the night. What was the point anymore? More would just follow in its wake.

I tightened my grip on the chains by my side and clenched my jaw. I was so sick and tired of being this weak and fragile girl, who couldn't even protect her own family, let alone herself. All I had ever done, in the face of danger and death, was running. Coward.

My parents, siblings and friends had always congratulated me on being such a strong individual, with a very clear personality. They thought it amazing that at such a young age, I already had my whole life planned out. But that wasn't the case anymore. I knew what would happen if I went back home.

If by some miracle I wasn't killed by the Preacher, surely I would be found by the authorities and put into foster care. That would be the final nail in the coffin of my dreams. Foster families couldn't afford to make my wishes come true. No Ivy League college, no medical school and absolutely no Dr. in front of my name. Those dreams were murdered along with my family.

I gritted my teeth in an attempt to shut out the tears and heavy realizations.

No life.

No future.

There was only existing left for me and the thought tore my insides apart and shattered my already broken heart. How was I expected to go on?

Tired of my self-flagellation, I quickly got on my feet and strode determined out of the small playground. I exited one the opposite end of where I had entered and blocked out my surroundings, fearing yet another place that would open the still healing wounds.

My clenched fists were stuffed into the front pockets of my worn jeans, my nails pressing into skin so hard that small bubbles of blood burst forth. I didn't care. I couldn't feel a thing, except the debilitating agony of loss.

Hours passed me by, with only the moon as my companion. Whether I traveled across grass or concrete didn't register with me, as my quick steps echoed in my ears. I took deep, heavy breaths, trying to survive the pain and failing miserably.

Suddenly I found myself head first on the ground. It was grass, I discovered, before sitting up. I didn't know what I had stumbled on and didn't much care. I was broken the second I realized my surroundings. I had unknowingly stumbled into a dark and depressing cemetery.

I wrapped my arms tightly around my legs, rested my chin on my knees and began to rock back and forth, while darting my eyes over the whole area. Cemeteries had always sent a shiver down my spine, but it was nothing compared to now. Knowing that soon my own flesh and blood, my loved ones, would be in a place like this. Spending the rest of eternity, six feet under in a cold grave.

Something caught my attention, out of the corner of my eye. A sliver of fear ran through my veins, as I quickly jumped to my feet. I tried to see what it was I had spotted, not even considering running. I was sick of being a coward.

Slowly and on shaky legs, I made my way across the cemetery, wanting to inspect the disturbance. I found myself in front of a new grave, with a simple headstone of clear granite. Nothing fancy.

**Derrick Mathew**  
**1979 – 2003**  
**Loving Son**

There was nothing spectacular about this specific grave and yet I felt that this was where the movement had come from. I looked at the fresh soil, as I stood just outside on the green grass. I was not prepared for what happened next.

Suddenly a dirty hand burst forth from the brown ground, grabbing at the earth. Another joined it and it looked as if this Derrick person was pulling himself up through the damp dirt.

I sucked in a harsh breath, stumbling back several feet, until I crashed onto the cool ground. I watched in horror, as the young man crawled out from the earth, as I slowly pushed my body backwards, trying to get away.

When he finally rose completely, the moon allowing me the perfect sight, I saw him for the true monster he was. There were violent ridges in place of his eyebrows and running down all the way to his nose. It was impossible for him to close his mouth, due to the long and sharp, almost canine like fangs protruding from his gums. Rationally I wanted to deny the truth, but instinct wasn't as foolish. He was a vampire.

The only sounds breaking the still silence of the night, was the horrific, violent growls of the supernatural creature in front of me and the occasional howl of a faraway owl. For the second time in two days, I lost hope in my survival.

Had this happened before the attack on my family and I, it would probably have taken me longer to accept. But I had already noticed the incredible strength of the Preacher, so I believed the truth instantly. It seemed ludicrous to me, that I would die so shortly after discovering the existence of a whole other world.

As the monster formerly known as Derrick stalked towards me, I realized that I had stopped backing away. I was still scared out of my mind, but had resigned myself to the future I would no longer have. I accepted my demise two days ago and now it was being fulfilled. I was in just as much peace with my decision to join my family, as I had been earlier. I only prayed this wouldn't be as painful as the Preacher surely would have been.

When he was close enough for me to feel the coldness of his dead breath, I began to take steps back once more. I only reached three, before my back hit the large tree behind me. I was trapped.

I let out my final sigh, as the man grabbed a hold of my neck with one hand and held down my right arm with his other. He smiled around his fangs and his yellow eyes were gleaming with anticipation. I closed my own grey ones, not wanting my final memory to be tainted. Instead I thought of my family.

My loving older brother, Jared, who had always looked after me when we were younger. He was only a year older than me and was preparing for his first year of college. He had been accepted at Stanford and was going to be a lawyer. He was the most intelligent person I had ever known and our love was unconditional.

My annoying younger brother, Tim, who was late to the family. He was 7 years old and the product of our parent's anniversary. He hadn't been expected nor planned, but we all loved him just as much as each other. He was a typical young boy, teasing and making a scene out of everything, but he still crawled into my bed with me every time there was a storm.

Then there were my parents. My father was a college professor, teaching medicine. He was the reason for my dream. I had grown up listening to his stories of his time as a hospital doctor and as I got older, I had snuck into his office and read all of his medical tomes. He caught me once and the light in his eyes told me that he was happy that I was following in his footsteps.

My mother was the best in the world. She owned her own restaurant and still worked as a chef, even though she could easily afford anyone she wanted. She loved food and we loved her food. She was also an artist in her spare time, painting the most beautiful pictures you could imagine. She was also my best friend.

I said my final goodbyes and let my whole body go slack, with only the monster to hold my weight up. I was ready.

However there was something I wasn't prepared for.

As soon as the edges of his long fangs scraped across the skin on my neck, deep buried instinct kicked in and before I knew it, I had broken off one of the branches beside me and was plunging it right through his still heart.

I watched, completely stunned, as he backed away slowly. His eyes were wide in shock, his hands grabbed at the small branch and then it happened. Seemingly from the inside out, he began to crumple into dust, before my very eyes, until all there was left of him, was the dirt on the emerald earth.

I started choking on numerous sobs, as my knees became limp and I crashed to the ground. I fisted my hands in the grass, banged my forehead on the cold soil and let out a high-pitched scream of pure agony and confusion. What was happening to me?

Hours passed, while I stayed in the same position. I could see the sun slowly rising in the distance and finally pulled myself up, leaning my back against the tree. My voice was hoarse from the terrible night I had had and everything that had happened in the last two days, was finally getting to me.

Weren't vampires supposed to be super human? So how did I single-handedly take one out?

These questions and more were swirling around in my mind, making me terribly dizzy. A headache was quickly forming and the lack of sleep and food was catching up with me. But I didn't have anywhere to go.

Even with no destination, I couldn't stay here on the ground forever. I remembered the magnet, pulling me towards a specific place and decided to keep going. Maybe there I could finally find some answers.

I pulled myself off the ground and shoved my still shaking hands in my pocket. Taking it one step at a time, I slowly walked out of the cemetery, with not a second look behind me. I had no intention of once more staring at the dust, mocking me with what I had so impossibly done, only a few short hours ago. I still couldn't quite wrap my head around it.

With one last, deep breath, I held my head high, pushed my shoulders back and walked down the deserted street. Soon it wouldn't be so empty, as the world would wake up and prepare for the day. Hopefully I would be long gone by then, heading for my new destiny.

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**April 27th, 2003**

My body ached in every limb, as the sun burned down on my bare skin. My white wife beater was drenched in sweat and my worn jeans barely stayed on my hips. I had lost so much weight in the last couple of months and it was showing.

I dragged my feet, no longer bare of shoes, across the scorching desert. The third car to pick me up had been kind enough to give me a pair of sneakers and even though they were falling apart at the seams, it was better than nothing.

As the desert stretched out in front of me, I couldn't help but wonder, not for the first time, what would be waiting for me in this town. As I moved closer, the magnet became more powerful and I knew that I was almost at my destination.

I wished for the sun to disappear, the moon replacing it in the sky. Though I had been fed and had plenty of liquid, the humidity here only worsened my state. I hadn't had enough, only eating and drinking every third day, when I was lucky enough to be picked up by a kind person. My body was completely dry and my skin was slowly crumbling. I feared I wouldn't make it all the way.

The burning sphere in the blue sky blurred the vision in front of me, so I didn't realize that the sign welcoming me to the town was there, until I was standing right in front of it. In the distance I saw equally blurry colors, buildings and houses most likely. I was almost there and the magnet was painfully powerful now.

I clenched and loosened my fists every couple of seconds, grinding my teeth and squinting my grey eyes. I went over a thousand scenarios in my mind; of why I felt a pull to this particular town. Nothing came to me. But after what I had seen recently, I was sure that anything was possible.

One more step and I was officially amongst the residents of my destination. The magnet ceased its pull completely, for the first time since it had begun. So now I was all alone. There was no longer any help and I had no idea how I was going to find my supposed destiny, in this strange, small town.

Shops began to collect around me and I wove in and out of people shopping and enjoying the sunny day. I wrung my fingers together in front of me, darting my eyes back and forth. Looking for a sign, any sign.

The immense feeling of tiredness was threatening to take me over, so I found a small bench near the middle of town and barely kept from collapsing onto the wooden seat. I slumped my shoulders down and took deep breaths, wondering if someone would find me here in a couple of hours, without a pulse to speak of.

Shaking off those morbid thoughts, I chastised myself for letting my mind wander that far. I knew I was close to death, but surely not that close. I was dehydrated, starving and sweating all of my bodily fluids out through my pores, but I was still here. I had to keep even a sliver of hope. I hadn't made it this far, to just lie down and die now.

I leaned back against the bench, lay my hands flat down by my sides and rested my head back. My eyes closed peacefully and I'm sure to the people passing, I seemed to be merely sleeping. It was too warm for that though. Instead I let my mind drift, waiting for nightfall, when it would be easier for my body to move around. That was when I would search. For what I did not know.

Not once did I open my eyes, though I could feel the sun disappear, as the coolness of night took over. Breathing became much simpler, as the temperature dropped. It was still warm enough that I would not freeze without a jacket, but cool enough to soothe my aching body. It was time.

I rose from my place on the small bench and made my way through the small crowd. I had unknowingly sat beside what I guessed was the only movie theater in this tiny town and there was a line of people out front. I carefully pushed my way past them, not knowing where I was going, but not being able to stand sitting still any longer either.

I heard the bustling of business around me, the lowered and raised tones of the various residents, the hum of a few cars and the industrial sounds of the many boutiques. I paid no attention, though I could not drown out the sound. I just didn't acknowledge it. Until someone forced me to.

'Excuse me, miss?'

I stopped walking; wondering if it could possibly be me the man spoke to. Turning in place, I saw the one who had called out and knew that it had been to me. But why?

He was an older gentleman and I detected a British accent, even with the few words he spoke. He was wearing a drearily dull outfit; clearly he was not a man of this century. He looked to be stuck in a past that he wasn't even old enough to have lived in. Indeed he was actually quite interesting.

'Yes?'

He smiled at my acknowledgment of his presence and confidently came closer, until he stood right in front of me, slightly towering over me.

'I am truly sorry to disturb you, but I have a matter of much urgency to discuss with you. Do you think it is at all possible for you to come with me?'

I scrunched my eyebrows together, as I thought his request over. He didn't seem like an overly frightening man, yet I had been through so much lately. Wasn't it the least threatening ones that you should fear?

He seemed to notice my unease and cleared his throat, successfully reclaiming my attention.

'I do promise to not harm you, but if you must have reassurance, I believe I can tell you a small bit here and now. Have you, by chance, come across any impossible occurrences lately?'

As he finished his sentence, my eyes widened completely at the insinuation. Was he who I had been looking for, the one that had created the magnet in me? I decided that I had not survived the last two months, just to come here and die. My choice was made and it was with my chin held high, that I replied.

'Where do you wish to go, to speak with me?'

He simply smiled at me, a smile that did not seem malicious at all and my trust in him rose. He turned to the right slightly and waved his hand at the vehicle parked at the curb. Not a car I would expect from someone like him. Nevertheless I opened the passenger side door and sat myself in the blood red convertible.

The slam of the opposite door caused my eyes to once more fall on his figure. He turned to me as well and offered me a small smile, silently ensuring me that it was okay and that I was in no danger. The more time I spent in his presence the more I believed. I felt strong in my decision to accept his proposal.

I only wondered about the answers he surely had for me. He started the car and together we took of towards the one thing I had been searching for. My destiny.

'Oh and by the way, my name is Rupert Giles. Welcome to Sunnydale.'

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**Authors Note:** Hope that was to your liking. A little taste of a potential being discovered and brought into the fold in the very last season. Remember to review xD


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